Trust the Process (And Other Valuable Cliches)

Regular readers of this blog have no doubt noticed that my recent tone has been a little, ummm…disgruntled. I’ve devoted several blogs to the political meltdown currently going on in our fair United States. It felt good to get the anger out of my system, and to have a written record of where I stand. The guy in charge is a petty, corrupt fascist who grabbed power only because America has lost its way, and history will not be kind to us — no matter how many people try to explain it away. It’s important to push back against fascism, no matter how tiny your sphere of influence. Blogging is probably the best weapon in my limited arsenal. But I also feel like I’ve said what I needed to say about it (for now). So let’s take a shot at other topics for a spell….

About a year ago, right out of the blue, our oldest daughter told me she wanted to learn softball and try out for her high school team. She had never spent a second of her life playing softball. About as close as she got was me tossing the whiffleball to her when she was a youngster.

Her sudden interest in softball was rooted more in academia than athletics. She thought (rightly) that playing a high school sport would look good on her college resume and help her get into the better universities. But whatever her motivation, I was just thrilled that she wanted to give it a go.

I played high school baseball myself way back during the Mesozoic Era, and have tried (and largely failed) to get our daughters interested in sports since they were toddlers. When Daughter 1 approached me about playing softball, I made it a priority to head to the nearest sporting goods store ASAP and get all the equipment needed to train her on the finer points of the game. We bought bats, balls, gloves, batting tees and batting gloves, and went to work.

We spent all last summer and fall working on her hitting, fielding and throwing. I boiled it down to the very basics – how to get into a batting stance, how to anticipate the pitch, how to swing the bat properly. We went over throwing techniques, fielding techniques, positioning, baserunning fundamentals.

When the weather was bad we practiced inside, in the basement, either throwing and catching or practicing her hitting using a Nerf softball. We watched instructional videos and college softball games so she would have a better understanding of fundamentals, rules and in-game strategies. I bought a magnetic board where I could show her different game scenarios, using magnets and an erasable sharpie.

We spent many hours, days and weeks getting her prepared – and I loved it. Not only did I have a chance to play ball again – I also got to spend some quality time with my daughter at an age (mid-teens) when most kids put up a resistance shield against their parents.

My main goal was to teach her enough so she would not go out there and embarrass herself when she finally tried out for the team. I figured all the other players would have years of experience under their belts, with deeper knowledge, and polished skills. It takes many years to learn a sport like softball. You cannot master it in a few months. But you can learn the basics, practice them over and over, and reach a certain comfort level.

Well, long story short: My daughter didn’t have to worry about “making” the team. Her school is not huge, and they have a limited number of athletes trying out for softball. Everyone who tried out was selected. I guess there’s about 25 or so on the team – most very skilled. So, Daughter 1 is on the team (Varsity and JV).

She has a limited role because of her inexperience. She has not played in the varsity games but has seen action in the JV games. She has a great attitude and is eager to learn and develop. She still asks me to practice with her. She’s a good teammate and a willing learner that the coaches appreciate and value.

Today, she made two successful bunts in a game, scored a run, and made a nice play in the field. Her teammates and coaches gave her some rousing support. I could not be more proud of her.

*****

As a Dad/softball instructor, the one thing I have tried to instill in my daughter is the importance of focusing on the process rather than the result. This is not exactly cutting-edge advice – it’s been the standard among elite athletes for a long time. But it’s still important advice for someone just learning the sport.

I watch a lot of professional tennis, and the commentators (most of whom are former players) always stress the importance of staying in the moment, trusting the process. Focus on the shot in front of you. Don’t think about the shot you just hit, or even the next shot. Concentrate on the moment, the here and now. Ignore the scoreboard.

Don’t even worry about winning or losing. If you believe in your swing, movement, game plan, talent and process, the results will take care of themselves.

These are all cliches. But they also happen to be true — which is why I have shared them with my daughter.

This is what I tell her: Focus only on what is right in front of you – the pitch, your swing, the ground ball or pop fly coming your way. Give these your full attention. Try to slow time down, concentrate, and use the fundamentals you have been taught. You will make mistakes and errors – even the best players at the highest levels do that. But you’ll improve your chances of success by sticking to the process and not worrying about the potential result.

*****

The above rules apply to any endeavor. I have often applied them to my working life. Maybe you have as well. They came in handy when I worked very high-pressure jobs – restaurant cook, newspaper reporter, bartender. All of these jobs put you under high stress.

As a sportswriter long ago, I ran up against tight deadlines late at night after covering high school, college or pro games. Let’s say the game ends at 10:30 p.m. You have to hustle for a couple of post-game comments, then get the game stats, then hustle back to the newsroom and file a 900-word story by 11:30 pm. This was pre-internet, pre-laptop. By the time you get back to the newsroom you might have 15 minutes to actually write the story. You have to shuffle through your game notes, come up with a lede, type it out on a word processor. Your editor is barking in your ear. The tension fairly swallows you.

So what do you do?

You focus on the process. You ignore the distractions. You focus only on the sentence you are writing. When that’s done, you focus on the the next sentence. You build the story line by line, block by block, graf by graf. You don’t worry about the result – only the process. The editor will deal with the result, clean things up so it makes for a decent story that readers might enjoy over breakfast the next morning.

The same with being a bartender. At some point, you’ll have a massive rush of customers and orders — seven orders from wait staff arriving at the same time, and nine customers lined up at the bar, eyeballing you. Everyone wants their order filled — right now.

So what do you do?

You focus on the process. You make this drink and open that beer and pour that wine, and you trust the process — because you know it’s the only way to keep things from getting out of control. Don’t worry about whoever is shouting in your ear. Take control of the situation and follow the game plan (yes, all jobs have a game plan).

Same with being a cook when the orders come rushing in one after the other, and everyone is slammed.

Through it all, I simply focused on the process. Trusted the process.

*****

I find that this is a good life philosophy as well — especially now, in what is no doubt the final quarter of my journey. I have reached a point in life when my thoughts tend to drift to places I’m not sure I want them to go. I am at an age when the clock ticks faster.

In a decade I’ll be designated as “elderly” — whether I feel that way or not. In two decades (God willing) I’ll be a very old man, lucky to breathe the oxygen. I have never been in this position before, and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

There are times when I am almost paralyzed by the thoughts sneaking into my head. I think about how much time has passed behind me, and how little lies ahead. The dreams and ambitions I once held dear seem silly to me now — useless, vacant. They used to be like oxygen to me, something that helped fill in the voids of the workaday world.

Where have those hopes and dreams gone?

Who am I without them?

Well, you can overthink this stuff, can’t you? I do — and plenty others, I imagine.

This is when it helps to step back into the process, the day right there in front of you, the task at hand. The article you need to write. The food you need to prepare. The daily exercise, bike ride, tennis workout, yardwork, house chore, family time. The book you want to read, or game you want to watch, or music you want to hear.  

Slowing time down and focusing on the process can cure a lot of ills – in sports, work, life, everything.

Note: The image is the magnetic softball board that I use with my daughter to go over strategies and such. It’s a terrible image. I can’t believe I even published it. One day I will put out a blog without an image. But not today, apparently….