Lucky 13: Favorite Chicken Dishes, Ranked

In the long history of human achievement, I’m not sure anything has inspired more brilliance and creativity than food. You could take the greatest works of art, music, literature, mechanics and technology, and I doubt they’d match the singular achievement of taking thousands of different life forms and turning them into something healthy and delicious. Or just delicious.

Think I’m kidding?

Well, think about this: Who came up with the idea to turn wheat grain into bread, convert animal milk into butter, and pair them up into a staple of kitchen tables the world over? How did they even know that mixing the grain with different ingredients and then putting it over a fire would create something entirely different that you could then chew and swallow? Is the Mona Lisa more impressive than that? Or Hamlet? Or the Egyptian pyramids?

Who gathered the first wild weeds and turned them into cooking herbs?

Who decided to boil the first rice? How did they even know those little husk-covered thingys buried in stalks would be worthy of consumption? Yet now, thousands of years later, roughly half of the world’s population depends on rice as their main food source.

The mind boggles….

As I’ve written about before in this blog (like here and here), I’m a guy who likes his food. I like to prep it, cook it, eat it, think about it, look at it, smell it, read about it, watch videos of it, dream about it – oh, it just consumes me as much as I consume it. I spend too many hours with food on the brain, and have since I was a wee lad, as my dear Mom (RIP) could attest.

(Me: When will the spaghetti be ready? I’m so hungry! Mom: Soon. Goodness me!).

Inspired by Mom, I learned to cook as a young bachelor because I wanted to eat well without having to spend money I didn’t have at restaurants I couldn’t afford. It helped that I worked as a cook many centuries ago at a couple of long-forgotten restaurant chains.

I learned cooking techniques that served me well in life, and am now the Official Home Cook at our house. We eat meals prepared in the kitchen, usually every night of the week. When it’s time to bake, the other three family members take the reins, because bake I do not…

But anyway…

Today’s blog is devoted to food – specifically, chicken. During one of our occasional family conversations concerning food, we discussed which meat we would choose if we could only have one for the rest of our lives. One family member chose seafood (fish, shellfish, etc.). One chose pork. Two of us chose chicken, including me.

Chicken is a versatile protein that can be served dozens (hundreds?) of different ways. Is it my favorite animal protein? Maybe, maybe not. But it’s the one that I come back to time and time again, because it can do so many things, and do them well.

Following are my 13 favorite chicken dishes, ranked. The rankings are totally subjective and could change a week from now. They are based exclusively on the flavor/deliciousness factor. If you have your own faves, feel free to share — I may want to make them.

1. Chicken enchiladas: If I had one meat-based meal to eat every day, would this Mexican classic be it? Maybe. Probably. Well, maybe. I lean toward the mole sauce version now, but it’s also good with red or green sauce. Rice and beans are must-have side items.
2. Chicken katsu curry: My wife lived in Japan for a couple of years just after college, so she introduced me to all kinds of Japanese foods. My first experience with katsu was at a New York City restaurant favored by Japanese expats, Japanese visitors and Japanese-Americans. You know it’s the real deal when the native population goes there. Chicken (and pork) katsu are breaded and fried strips, light and tender. Typically served with white rice and raw cabbage. This meal reminded me of the fried chicken dinners I grew up eating as a kid in North Carolina. In London I was introduced to chicken katsu curry at a chain called Eat Tokyo. Now I order the curry version whenever and wherever I can get it.
3. Halal chicken: While living and working in NYC in the 2000s, I started noticing all these halal carts parked along just about every block in midtown Manhattan. The smell emanating from these carts was intoxicating, so I decided to give it a try. Back then, you could get a container of sauteed and magnificently seasoned Middle East-inspired chicken, rice, salad and pita for about six bucks. It was the best deal around – and one of the best meals around. I still crave it, and order it through delivery apps these days.
4. Chick-fil-A sandwich: You might not be aware of this yummy sandwich unless you live in or have visited the USA. The Chick-fil-A chain is headquartered in Atlanta. I got my first taste of it back in high school, during the ‘70s, when it was about the only quick bite you could get at a mall. It eventually made its way to the rest of the country before expanding internationally. Now it’s a major fast-food chain. The original sandwich is my favorite – a deep fried chicken breast served with pickles and a burger bun. That’s it. They somehow figured out a way to make chicken breast delicious – no mean feat, considering that the breast can be very dry and flavorless in lesser hands. Some progressive-minded folks who I normally agree with refuse to eat at Chick-fil-A because the founder was a Bible-thumping, anti-LGBTQ bigot. Okay, fine. Fight the Power. But: If you held every business owner to account for their beliefs, you might never find a business you can actually spend money at. The Chick-fil-A founder has long since departed this mortal coil, and current Chick-fil-A management has tried to make peace with the LGBTQ community. But here’s the thing: Many of my erstwhile “progressive” friends posted their Chick-fil-A opposition on Facebook, a toxic shithole of a social media platform headed by a money-worshiping doofus that has done more to harm humanity than Chick-fil-A ever could in 10 million years. So either get off Facebook, or shut the F up.
5. Chicken biryani: Maybe my favorite Indian dish these days, made with rice and probably 8,000 different spices. I like it medium-spicy. In the UK, medium-spicy is about as “spicy” as vanilla frosting. In the U.S., medium-spicy has some definite kick. I imagine in India, medium-spicy would torch the ever-loving shit out of most of the world’s taste buds.
6. Fried chicken: Just about every country and culture has its version of fried chicken, and just about all of it is good. I grew up on Southern (U.S.) fried chicken – a crispy, juicy, heavily seasoned version that has found its way to all corners of the globe thanks to the late Colonel Sanders and his ubiquitous KFC boxes and buckets. In London, there was a Peri-Peri fried chicken joint not far from our home. Peri-Peri chicken has its roots in Mozambique cuisine, and my stomach growls just thinking about it.
7. Korean fried chicken (actually tied for 6^th, but I can’t figure out how to do that on this platform). Yes, it’s fried chicken, so technically it should fall under the previous category. But this version deserves its own special mention because it may be the best fried chicken out there – crispy, not greasy, full of flavor. These typically come in drummie form, meaning the half of the wing that looks like a drumstick. I prefer the soy/ginger version.
8. Chicken kofta: Kofta is a Middle Eastern ground meat that I first encountered at a hole-in-the-wall Lebanese joint back in my hometown of Charlotte, N.C. I ordered the beef version there. The most popular version is probably lamb, but for some reason my taste buds can no longer handle lamb. In London, there was a Lebanese chain that offered a chicken kofta, and that became a favorite meal of our oldest daughter and me. Served with yellow rice, pita and a cucumber/tomato salad, and you got yourself some serious deliciousness.
9. Arroz con pollo: Chicken and rice cooked together in a single pan. A staple everywhere. Comfort food for the masses. I make this a lot at home, in different versions (some in New Orleans jambalaya form with sausage and hot sauce, some in Caribbean form with olives).
10. Tandoori chicken: My second-favorite Indian dish. Served with sliced onions and basmati rice.
11. Sesame chicken: A popular Chinese-American dish here in the States. You’ll find Chinese restaurants all over the USA. I once read a stat that there are more Chinese restaurants in America than McDonald’s or Subway. The earliest Chinese restaurants here were opened in the 1800s by working-class Chinese immigrants on the coasts – mainly California and New York. They started out cooking authentic Chinese cuisine, but Americans didn’t really take to it. So the Chinese cooks started adding American touches – mainly in the form of sweet/sour/savory sauces. Sesame chicken is one of the dishes that evolved. I’m not sure it’s served anywhere else in the world, and I’m guessing people who live in China wouldn’t know what to make of it. It’s basically fried chicken pieces doused in a thick, gooey sauce and sprinkled with sesame seeds. It won’t make any lists of healthiest foods, but damn, it tastes good.
12. Chicken schnitzel: Lots of people know about Wiener schnitzel, a traditional Austrian/German dish made from breaded and fried veal cutlets. It’s light and crispy and delicious. The chicken version is also delicious. An American schnitzel was created in the Texas hill country many decades ago, by transplanted Germans/Austrians/Bavarians. It’s now known as “chicken fried steak” (yes) or “chicken fried chicken,” served with a milk-based gravy, and also delicious.
13. Chicken Chow Mein: Here’s another Chinese dish developed in America for Americans. There are two versions. The West Coast version features noodles, which to me makes it lo mein instead of chow mein. The East Coast version, which I grew up on, is totally different. It’s made with cabbage, celery and onions, and sauteed in a white sauce made from corn starch. I still seek out this dish, and order it from our favorite Chinese takeout joint here in Jersey. I imagine I’m one of the few and proud who would include it on a list of favorite chicken dishes. I like it doused with Chinese hot mustard that comes in little plastic packets.

Photos: Courtesy of the magic of the World Wide Web.