If You Laugh At These Drawings I Will Either Kill You Or Cry

One of the people I admire most in human history is Leonardo da Vinci, even though I don’t really know that much about him. Our family visited his museum in Milan a few years ago, which was my personal highlight of Milan, a disappointing city in many ways, but never mind…..

Da Vinci was a true Renaissance man, having lived during the actual Renaissance. But it was much, much more than that. He was a person of myriad talents, each of which would probably have ranked him among the finest ever at certain disciplines. He was a brilliant scientist, engineer, thinker, sculptor, and architect.

He envisioned and designed flying machines centuries before flying machines became a real thing. I’m guessing people at the time thought he was a heretic for even considering that humans could fly in machines. His designs were a masterwork of engineering and science.

He painted what was probably – no, easily – the most famous painting ever: the Mona Lisa, which to this day still enraptures people no end. I dare you to look at that woman’s bare whisper of a smile and not feel something.

We were lucky enough to get a front-row view of the Mona Lisa during a trip to the Louvre in Paris because Susan was on crutches at the time, given a wheelchair by the nice folks there, and allowed to roll to the front of a crowded room with her family in tow.

For my money, Leonardo da Vinci was maybe the most brilliant human ever. Either him or Miles Davis. Or Melissa McCarthy (have you ever seen her on SNL? Genius!)

But this blog is not about Leonardo da Vinci.

It’s about me. That’s right – ME!

Am I a Renaissance man?

Is ketchup blue?

Is the sky olive green?

I have several talents, which I will list here:

• Writing
• Reading
• Napping
• Tennis (I tell myself)
• Memorizing baseball stats
• Cooking (I tell myself)

Of those talents, exactly two – writing and cooking – have any practical use in my life. I earn a living as a writer, and I cook the family meals.

What I’ve never been good at is drawing. I have never, ever, ever had much talent at it. Even as a kid, when everyone draws, I was not that good at it. To this day, drawing a simple picture is an exercise in torture and frustration. Our oldest daughter can knock out a brilliant drawing of anything in the world almost as an afterthought. Our youngest daughter has a deep well of creativity that manifests itself in amazing visuals. Me? I drive myself into madness just trying to draw a circle.

And yet…..

And yet…..

A couple of years ago I decided to take up drawing. This was during a period when I was burnt out on writing fiction, decided the book publishing industry was full of pretenders, morons, and shit, and wanted another creative outlet.

So: I took up drawing. I bought some books on how to draw. I watched videos on how to draw. I had no expectations of being good at it, but I plunged in.

For 18 or so months, while we were still in London, I dedicated myself to drawing pictures – all with pencil. I drew every week, three or four times a week. I disciplined myself to do it whether I felt like it or not. I drew dozens of pictures, usually ones I copied off the internet, free-hand, on paper, with pencil.

I bought a blank comic book and decided to draw and write a comic story. And I dedicated myself to that, drawing and writing panels every week, two or three times a week. I got better at drawing, at figuring out the right proportions, the basic stuff. It was never easy. I’m still not that great at it.

But it was fun and satisfying and mind-melting, drawing and erasing and drawing and erasing just to get a shoe right. Shoes are the worst. And hands. And legs. And….

I have not done any drawings since we moved to America. Life has been too busy. Maybe I’ll pick it up again. But I figured if I never draw again, I should at least let the world see the comic book I have drawn and written so far.

So here it is, on this blog. It is presented below in the order it was drawn. I envisioned an old-school noir crime comic, so that is what I drew. There is a plot narrative involved, though I am still working out exactly what it is.

Unfortunately, some of the pages have pencil smears on them because I didn’t have the foresight to put blank sheets between the pages to keep the graphite from bleeding onto other pages. The pages might be dark, and not easy to read on a digital platform, and you might need to widen the images to read and follow them, and the technical drawing aspects might have a certain amateurish look, but whatever. They were fun.

I hope you enjoy this World Debut of Vance Cariaga’s Comic Experience. One day, when my bones are dust beneath the ground, maybe these will be collector’s items – like Leonardo da Vinci!

Okay, no chance. But they were still kinda fun to draw….

NOTE: All of the photos are of two pages — the left page and right page. So when looking at it, you read the left page first then the right page. It’s hard to tell because the photos aren’t great at clearly separating the pages. There are 12 photos and 24 pages.

Note: The drawing at the top was one I did before the Comic Book Experience. I call it “Winning Hand.” I actually just made that title up…..