Old Man Winter Pays a Visit

If you don’t live in North America, you might not know (or care) about the shitkicker of a winter storm that has come a-callin’ in 2024. There were a couple of them, actually. A few, actually.

Sub-freezing temperatures have swept from coast to coast and border to border, from central Florida to Washington state, southern California to Maine, Mexico to Canada, and all points in between, bringing with them high winds, blizzards, and deep blankets of icy snow, and icy roads, and icy ice, creating havoc in some areas, more havoc in others.

This was not your normal winter storm front. This was an angry freak that escaped from the Climate Psycho Ward. The whole of North America is not supposed to see cold fronts massing like armies in every corner of the continent, poised to attack. But it’s the new normal, what with the polar ice caps melting and oceans rising and weather patterns behaving more like meth addicts than earthly forces of nature.

Up here in North Jersey, we’ve had a couple of snowfalls already. Temps have dipped down into the low teens Fahrenheit (about minus-10 Celsius). This is our first winter in North American in six years. The previous six were spent in London, which occasionally had a nice, polite little snowfall during the winter, but mostly delivered weather that stayed around 35F (2C), damp and depressing for weeks and months and centuries at a time.

The snow is lovely in our New Jersey neighborhood. It’s a lovely old neighborhood with lovely old homes and lovely snow on our lovely lawns, as you can see in the lovely photo accompanying this lovely blog, taken from our lovely front porch not long ago.

But it’s time for the snow to move on. Time for the snow to pack a grip and split for parts north.

Oh, the first snowfall was fun. We went out and messed about in it, tossed some snowballs, made little snowmen.

The second snowfall was significant mainly because it canceled school for our daughters. They could not have been happier if they had been personally invited by Taylor Swift to join her on a global tour, on a chartered jet, with an unlimited expense account, and their own private hotel suites filled with their favorite foods and/or gift cards.

Our daughters were SO happy that they immediately headed to their rooms after breakfast and stayed mostly holed up in those rooms for the next 48 hours or so. When you are a teen(ish), this is your idea of paradise. I’m not so old that I don’t remember.

Me? I shoveled some snow and tossed down some of that rock salt-type stuff that’s supposed to melt snow and ice on driveways and sidewalks. I felt obligated to, considering the neighbors did the same thing. I figured that’s what you do in a snowstorm. These folks were out there early, too, snow shovels in hand, like trained Marines on a mission.

A couple times I came perilously close to slipping ass-backwards onto God knows what body part. Then I went back inside – and stayed there.

If I were a normal older gentleman, I would never venture out in the snow and ice and bitter cold except to remind myself how nice it is inside. But I’m not a normal older gent. I’m an older gent with teen/tween kids. So, you have to venture outside. You have to make the effort. You have to brave the elements to run errands, do snow chores. You have to shovel snow, or go outside and play.

You can even enjoy it, in bits and pieces – even though given a choice, you’d much rather be where the temperature is 75 and the sky is blue and the tomatoes are ripe and red.

Old Man Winter doesn’t seem so old anymore, not at my age. He’s just another guy who gets on my nerves when he’s not charming me. I haven’t really loved winter since I was a kid sledding down hilly streets. These days, it’s just something I want to be over with once the holidays are done. I’m more of spring/summer dude in the autumn of my years.

But, winter I must endure – we must endure. Winter serves its purpose. You don’t hear the loud, obnoxious cacophony of lawnmowers and leaf blowers like you do in the other seasons. Winter is relatively quiet, calm, and peaceful. It gives you time to reflect — and man oh man, we could all use some of that. There’s much to recommend about it, much to admire.

So, nice to see you, Old Man Winter.

Now feel free to mosey on your merry old way….