January Thoughts: Arctic Temps, Dumb Politicians and Sunny Australia

January is a cruel and merciless month up here in our part of the world. The temperatures have been hovering in the mid-teens Fahrenheit (about minus-10 Celsius). When you factor in the wind, temps are closer to zero F. The snow that seemed fluffy and charming over Christmas has morphed into a mean old drunk who keeps hanging around long past closing time. Several inches of snow fell the other day – none of it welcome.

There’s not much relief in sight. The frigid weather will last into February and probably hang around in early March and maybe even show up in April, after we’ve unwisely put away our winter clothes. I know from experience.

I previously lived in New Jersey during parts of 2000 and 2003. In early April of 2003 I moved here from warm, sunny Los Angeles. I don’t think I even owned any winter clothes at the time because who needs them in LA? Since it was already April, I figured I wouldn’t need them in New Jersey or nearby New York City, either. 

Silly me. I arrived in New Jersey during a spring blizzard. My first day returning to the NYC office I had to plod through the snow wearing a light jacket and loafers while everyone else was bundled up in snow boots and several layers of heavy garments. My feet were frozen to the point where I don’t think I could move my toes till around lunchtime.

“You look like you’re dressed for a round of golf,” one waggish colleague remarked. “You’re not in Cali anymore, Toto.”

Well, nearly 22 years later, here I am again, and here the cold is again, and the snow. The photo accompanying this blog was taken today from an upstairs window. That picture looks cold, right? It’s not even a black-and-white photo. It’s full color. But it’s even colder than it looks. I have to stay inside – which I hate – unless it’s to go out and shovel the walk (which I also hate). You don’t want to go outside. You don’t want to do much of anything.

A winter cold front has engulfed much of the northeastern United States. Look at replays of the NFL playoff games in Philly and Buffalo that occurred over the weekend. Both covered in snow.

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Down in Washington, D.C. – located at the southernmost point of the Northeast, or the northernmost point of the Southeast, depending on your particular POV – it was so cold that our nation’s newly elected president and the rest of his douchebag brigade had to hold their inauguration indoors. This cut down on the grandeur of the event, but probably made it easier for everyone to discuss their grand plans to advance the causes of fascism, racism, authoritarianism, incompetence and oh, never mind….

I didn’t watch the inauguration – and wouldn’t have even if the new prez himself had sent me a handwritten invitation gilded in the kind of cheap, tacky design he is renowned for. I didn’t read about the inauguration or scan a single headline. For all I know it was held in a McDonald’s drive-thru, where the prez could scarf down his favorite cuisine and steal fries out of everyone else’s bag.

I did read that one of his first orders of business was to officially rename the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America.” Wow – clever! It reminds me of a couple decades ago, when another aggrieved, bratty American dickhead lawmaker started a movement to change the name of “French” fries to “Freedom” fries after France opposed the U.S. invasion of Iraq. That’ll show ‘em!

This is what passes for policy in modern-day America – let’s flex our muscles and change the names of things so the rest of the world will know exactly where we stand on the important issues. Of course, the rest of the world doesn’t give a shit what America thinks about all this, and kept on calling French fries French fries, just like they’ll keep on calling the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of Mexico.

Deep breath, deep breath….

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This blog wasn’t supposed to veer into political matters. It was supposed to be about weather – and tennis.

But this is the world that has been gifted us in 2025, and I’m guessing future blogs will veer the same way. Because as much as the media and others try to paint a new face on the once-and-future emperor, when you take his clothes off, he’s still the same old cheap blowhard backed by the same old Bible-thumping hypocrites and cynical, money-worshiping cowards.

He’ll be just as lousy a president this time around as he was the last time, because he lacks a single quality needed to be a good president – or even a decent human being. He doesn’t get a fresh coat of paint just because he won a close election with less than half the vote, all because an electorate with the attention span of a gnat can’t make up its mind what it wants.

History will show that this was the period when America finally gave up on all the values it pretended to hold dear during its first 250 years or so. And if I’m wrong, then praise the Lord. I’ll be the happiest dude around.

Maybe I just want an official record of where I stand so that if anyone wonders about it a few years down the road, they have this blog to refer back to.  

Anyway, the weather….

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This frigid January, like all frigid Januarys in the Northern Hemisphere, happens to coincide with the start of the professional tennis season. As usual, it takes place in parts south – mainly Australia and New Zealand.

As I write this, the Australian Open is being played. It’s the first of the four major pro tennis tournaments, followed by the French Open in May, Wimbledon in July, and the U.S. Open in late August/early September. Being a die-hard tennis fan and longtime player, this is like manna from heaven for me.

You know what’s great about the Australian Open, and the other January tournaments down under? It’s summer down there. The weather is sunny and hot – at least when it’s not raining. The skies are blue and the days are long and the fans are dressed in shorts. They’re probably complaining about how hot it is, God love ‘em.

I watch the matches here in arctic New Jersey and I marvel at the fact that somewhere in the world it’s warm and sunny, and nobody cares too much about U.S. politics. They’re sitting there in the Melbourne sunshine with a cool drink and sandals, and they’re watching outdoor tennis, and trying to decide which outdoor café to eat at later, and whether they should hit the beach tomorrow.

This is like a miracle to me. It warms my soul. This is one of the many things I love about tennis. It’s a truly international sport, with the world’s top players hailing from around the globe – and all competing against each other in tournaments on every continent except Antarctica, dozens and dozens of countries, where life is different, and the languages are different, and the cultures are different, and it expands your own world, and what a gift that is.

As a fan thousands of miles away, in coldass New Jersey, you can sit there and soak up the sunshine and heat, and for a couple of hours none of the misery here at home matters. Somewhere all is light and warmth and fun. It helps get you through this January and all the Januarys yet to come.